Squirrels, Zebedee and Freddy Krueger.

This week Billy dog has been getting in touch with his inner squirrel. He has decided that he likes nuts which he gathers from underneath trees. It started with hazel nuts a few weeks ago which he crunches up to get the nut out, discarding the shell, and now he has discovered chestnuts.  Again he chews up the tough brown skin, which he spits out to get to the kernal inside. He's becoming a bit nut obsessed, like Scrat from Ice Age he's always on the look out for them and refuses to let me prise them out from his tightly clenched jaws. It was when I got home after a walk where he'd been eating nuts and checked online, that I found that acorns and beech nuts can be toxic to dogs. I'm not really sure how discerning he is, so I think I'm going to have to discourage all nut eating from now on. It won't be easy though as  it's the time of year when natures bounty comes raining down from the trees. The woodland floors are littered with hazel nuts, acorns, beech, chestnuts and conkers and I have one greedy little dog who although he likes meat and bones seems to be toying with the idea of becoming a vegan, like his squirrel mates.

Generally when we go for woodland walks he is on the alert looking out for squirrels and if he thinks that he has heard or smelt one he takes off through the undergrowth in hot pursuit. If he knows that there is a squirrel up a particular tree he practically tries to climb up to catch it, bouncing off the ground like Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout. He's never got near catching one though. Unlike my sisters dog Ceilidh (pronounced Kayley...yes I know, but that's my sister for you. Can you imagine the various names the dog gets called at the vets! I always like to spell the name differently, as if it's not spelt strangely enough).

My Mum and sister took Keilijh out on one occassion and she was chasing after every pesky little rodent she spotted. My Mum was worried about her catching one, as our cousins dog was bitten by a squirrel and lost his toe as a result, so Mum kept trying to call Cmayligh back. My sister assured her that Khazum would never catch one. Famous last words, no sooner had she said it than the dog catches the end of a squirrels tail and flips it up in the air. Apparently there are 44 breeds of flying squirrels, well this one wasn't officially one of them but by all accounts it did a pretty good impersonation. The story goes that the squirrel did some aeronautical gymnastics that the Red Arrows would have been proud of before landing neatly, pausing to get its breath back and then scuttling up a tree, none the worse for its encounter and no doubt still dining out on the tale. I'm not sure who was more surprised Mum, my sister, the dog or the squirrel.

I've just remembered another dog versus squirrel incident that happened in my family. When I was young we had a spaniel called Suzy and like most dogs she liked to chase squirrels. One autumn day we were walking through a wooded area when we came upon a squirrel ahead of us on the path. Suzy took off after it and for a few seconds the squirrel took flight, suddenly though it changed its mind, stopped and turned to face the dog. Suzy immediately put the brakes on and came to a skidding hault just in front of its twitching whiskers.  Dog and squirrel stood and stared at each other just inches apart. We stood watching expecting a squirrel massacre any second, a Freddy Krueger moment, or quite literally a nightmare on elm street. I suspect that the squirrels life flashed before its eyes: it probably remembered snuggling with its litter mates in the drey; possibly it looked back fondly on its first excursion onto the forest floor and learnt what a rich larder it was and maybe it thought about its own children waiting in the nest for him. It was a tense moment but then Suzy, upset that the squirrel wasn't playing by the rules, tucked her tail between her legs and scuttled back to us whimpering.

So in my family, despite what you might expect, it's squirrels 4, dogs 0. The natural order has been reversed but despite this the world keeps turning, night still follows day, toast still falls butter side down onto the carpet and the thing that you have lost is still always found in the last place you look. I guess this is all a long winded way of saying that the world won't end if you do something unexpected or unpredictable, in fact it might turn out surprisingly well. If you're still unsure then ask a squirrel.