If only, leap-frog and George Clooney.

I think two of the saddest words in the world that you can use are "If only", the five saddest being "Sorry, the bottle is empty". "If only" suggests missed opportunities and chances not taken. How awful to look back on your life with regret and the feeling things could have gone better.

This week unfortunately I have had my own " If only" moment as I have missed out on doing something I have always wanted to do and which you don't get to do too often. An action that's on my bucket list along with visiting the Giant's Causeway and learning to play the violin.

You see as this is a leap year (am I the only one who wants to call it leap-frog year?) we have had that rare date of 29th February this week, a date that we don't get every year. A date where according to tradition it is socially acceptable for a woman to propose marriage to a man, something that I have always wanted to do. A date that has passed again this year without me proposing. There are a few reasons why this didn't happen.

The first reason, and if I'm honest probably the most important, for not proposing, is that I'm not in a relationship and so didn't have anyone in mind to propose to, but I still regret not having done it. Actually it's not quite true that I had no one in mind, I had thought that of everyone I know I would propose to the old man who lives a couple of houses along from me. Every morning I see him walking down to the local shop to pick up a newspaper, when I take Billy dog out for a walk. We say good morning, comment on the weather and then he pats Billy. He also lets me steal herbs from his herb garden.

Not much to build a marriage on you might think but the reason that I was considering asking him to marry me is because I am pretty sure he'd say no. You see I don't want to be married, I'd just like to propose. I imagine it would feel really liberating to be the one to do the asking rather than waiting passively to be asked. However I didn't propose to him as I'd then have to change the time of my morning walk because it would have been too embarrassing to keep bumping into him each day after he'd rejected me. Also, supposedly, if a man refuses then he has to buy the woman a silk robe and I don't think that my elderly neighbour could afford one.

I could of course have asked a celebrity to marry me as I'm sure that they would have said no, but I don't know any and now George Clooney is married what would be the point?

As well as not being in a relationship and not knowing any celebrities is the fact that I'm just not brave enough to ask. I'm not really a natural chance taker. The most risky activity I take part in is eating cheese that's past it's sell by date and even then I worry for at least forty eight hours that I'm going to be ill. I just don't have the nerve to ask someone to marry me.

Another leap-frog day has therefore gone by and once again I have missed the opportunity to do something I've always wanted to do. Still only another four years to wait and I get the chance again. I wonder if I'll have the nerve to do it next time. If only I was braver; if only I was sure the man I asked would say no; if only my neighbour knew what a narrow escape he has had; if only George Clooney was unmarried. If only.