Birthday Cards, puppies and matching socks

This week it feels that I have spent most of my time in stationers and card shops searching for that elusive item; the perfect greeting card. There can be no finer feeling than finding the ideal card for the person whose birthday/anniversary etc is coming up. The card with the exact picture and words I need, the card with the appropriate humour and message. I can happily spend hours browsing through racks of cards admiring floral fronts often accompanied by equally flowery sentiments inside, cute pictures of puppies and kittens, glittery handmade offerings and funny cards galore.

I'm often amazed by the variety of cards on offer, it seems that there is a card for every occasion. As well as the usual birthday, anniversary, get well, retirement, exam and birth congratulation you can also get thanks for watering the plants whilst I was on holiday, sorry your hamster has tonsillitis and we'll done for wearing matching socks for a week.

Why then, if there is so much variety, have I had such trouble finding the right card?

I started looking for cards for some up coming events a few weeks ago, however when I then visited the card shop it seemed that 78% of the shop space was being used for Valentines cards. I decided therefore to wait a few weeks to choose my cards, to get Valentines out the way, so that I had a better choice.

This week I headed back to the shop anticipating racks full of wonderful birthday cards to select from only to find that the Valentines cards have been replaced by Mother's Day cards. I know that if I wait till after Mother's Day I'll find that the shops are full of Easter cards.

Following hours of fruitless searching I have a few suggestions for card shops and card manufacturers.

• Please be mindful that people have birthdays and anniversaries all through the year. There is a need for Good luck in your new job and Happy Retirement cards even in the run up to Christmas, so have a seasonal display but please leave us some choice of year round cards.
• Don't print and display so many over the top, slushy cards. When you read the words in many of the cards on display you'd think that the world was made up of angels and paragons of virtue. I often want a card that says Happy Birthday, I hope you have a great day but end up leaving the shop with a card that states that with each birthday the recipient becomes a bit more perfect and that my life would be empty without them.
• Conversely please don't make all the humorous cards X-rated.
• Yes have a few novelty cards such as Thank you for making me a cheesecake or Sorry you broke a nail but most of us are looking for regular birthday and anniversary cards, so could we please have more of these on display.
• Not a suggestion but a question this time. Why are cards so expensive? How come I can get a box of Christmas cards for the same price as one Good luck in your driving test card? I'm not buying them a car you know.

Well that's my rant over. I feel like I should be sending out Sorry this blog is a moanfest card, I'm sure that someone has printed one. I'd also like to apologise to my friends who have birthdays coming up, I know that it may seem strange to get a Best Mummy in the world card (especially the men amongst you) but they were the only cards I could get.